The other day we had an appointment with the midwife. Everything is going well with the pregnancy and we are right on track. The coolest thing was listening to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. While I was listening to the heartbeat, for the first time in a long time my life's path and purpose was clear before me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life, as well as the scariest. My life has been directly threatened many times before, but the terror of those moments cannot compare to the subtle, dull, steadily growing fear brought on by the realization I'm getting closer to becoming a father. The responsibility of another life is quietly but quickly dawning on me. I can barely run my own life sometimes, how am I going to care for a child who can't take care of itself? At the same time, we are both very excited about this pregnancy. The range of emotions I am feeling about this is something new to me. I usually feel one way or another about something. Parenthood has thrown me into a loop. It's definitely an exciting time, filled with a lot of soul-searching and preparations.
On a side-note, I'm calling it from now: It will be a girl, born on February 8, either late morning or afternoon. I know these things.
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